Danny Gokey - RISE

I love the song already, but after seeing this music video, I claim Rise as my new theme song. I was stuck for so long in a destructive marriage in which my husband psychologically manipulated and devalued me in subtle ways. Psychological and emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, while being much harder to recognize and explain to others in order to get help. This video gives me hope, saying my Father wants to restore my glory and let me shine. I want to be a light of hope to others that may be in similar situations. And I hope to someday meet a godly man that understands how to value a woman and lift her up instead of putting her down and crushing her spirit.

Let it Go: A movie song begins to heal my broken heart

Over three years ago I sat with my family, my husband and 5 daughters, in the theater and wept through this song as we watched the movie Frozen. The song so perfectly expressed what my heart longed for. My soul had been bound up for so long. I had forgotten who I was. I hadn't expressed myself in art or song for years. I had allowed someone else to define and devalue me, and I didn't know I should do something about it. I had allowed a constant, subtle atmosphere of hostility from the partner (who should have been my best friend) to eat away at my soul for so long that it had become normal. The song, Let it Go, broke the ice in my heart and showed me that I had been trapped and longed for freedom. I began to do what I was meant to do again. And I realized I was valuable, and shouldn't accept bad treatment. I fought against it. I wasn't perfect in how I responded, but that's okay. Life is messy. I insisted that we get help, but it's impossible to make another person see what they don't want to see. Like Elsa, I ran. Then, my 'prince' showed his true colors and immediately discarded me, instead of pursuing me. Pretty much like little sister Anna's prince in the movie. Well, time will tell how the story goes on. For the first time in a long time, I have hope of a good life and a happy ending. Because another thing I'm learning is that I don't have to be perfect to be loved ("that perfect girl is gone!"). There will be someone that will love me for who I am, whether or not I do everything right or agree with everything he says. A person that is capable of loving a real person. I already have many friends that love me in spite of my imperfections, for which I am so grateful.

"And one thought crystalizes like an icy blast: I'm never going back! The past is in the past!"

Phil Wickham - Evermore

This song is based on a hymn, Of the Father's Love Begotten, written by Aurelius Clemens Prudentius in the 4th century AD. Absolutely beautiful.

Fly! Be Free!

It's been a long time since I posted anything, and even longer since I've been motivated to really write anything. This has been an eventful spring and summer; with the biggest event being my sweet daughter Emily's graduation from high school. Emily is our oldest child, so this was our first experience with a real graduation. We are home-schoolers, and belong to a home-school co-op, in which classes are taught two days a week by parents or others. They do an amazing graduation ceremony every year. Emily's class was very small, with only 23, but the ceremony took 3 hours, because the parents personally presented their child's diploma along with a short speech, and the students performed music and dance. There was quite a bit of preparation involved for parents, students, teachers, and administrators. It is a very emotional and stressful time, as well as joyful, because parents have to get used to the idea of their child getting ready for a more independent life, college, career, etc.. The ceremony was wonderful, and it really got my emotions on a roller coaster when right at the beginning they played a clip from 'The Andy Griffith Show' in which Andy talks to Opie about setting free some little birds he has been taking care of, keeping them safe in a cage. Of course Andy is talking about baby birds needing to fly and be free, but all our minds were on our own 'baby birds' and we knew exactly what Andy was really thinking about: his own little bird, Opie, needed to learn to fly and to make good decisions on his own. I was almost sobbing, and trying not to show it. There were many people also using kleenex, however. Once I get the 'waterworks' started, it's hard for me to stop; so this did not bode well, as I had uncharacteristically decided to go ahead and give a short speech when my husband and I presented Emily's diploma. This was a brave turn-around for me, as I had originally planned to indulge my shyness and leave the speaking to Eddie alone. But this year has been one of taking new steps for me anyway, or rather of spreading my wings. Earlier this year I sang my first solo in front of an audience, and next week I'm going to a master portrait painting workshop in Raleigh, NC to try and develop the gifts God has given me. The funny thing is, I wasn't really afraid any more. Having the courage to sing earlier this year had knocked my habitual paralyzing fear for a loop. It was gone. I was nervous, but actually looking forward to sharing what I had to say to and about Emily. We got in line by the stage to prepare to give diplomas, and our youngest daughter Abigail, who was sitting with my parents, started crying for me; I motioned for Mom to let her come to us. When it was our turn, I got up there with Eddie and Emily and Abigail, and Eddie spoke first. He did beautifully, but lo and behold, right at the end, he choked up, and then joked his way through the tears. It was my turn, and I grabbed the mike and started talking. I had a bit of trouble remembering to speak into the mike, but I got through my speech with a few tears; and was able to talk through them, instead of letting the tears silence me as I used to do. Here is the text of my speech to Emily.

Emily is our firstborn. And Abigail is our youngest. Emily was present when Abigail was born; and witnessed her birth. The umbilical cord was wrapped around Abigail's neck as she was coming out, and there was a crisis for a minute or two, but everything was alright. It's amazing, then, that after witnessing all that, Emily has decided to pursue an apprenticeship or program to learn midwifery. I'm very proud that she will be helping women and families to have a safe, dignified, and natural a birth process as possible. That is very important. Like the Israelite midwives in Egypt who were obedient to God, and so saved the children of Israel. I'm very happy for her; though it's very bittersweet seeing her grow up. She's a dear, sweet, gentle girl, who loves God, babies, praise dance, history, Snoopy, and of course... chocolate. Emily, as a child, you used to carry around a Tweety Bird toy. Then, you saw your baby sister Abigail be born, and you loved to carry her and take care of her, like a second mommy. Emily I'm proud of your conscientious heart, your responsibility, and maturity. You teach me so much without a word by your gentleness and patience. I love you dearly.God bless you in all your endeavors. As you seek Him, He will continue to reveal His will to you, step by step. This is one of the first memory verses you learned as a child. "His word will be a lamp unto your feet, and a light unto your path." I love you, Emily :)

Big Daddy Weave - Listen To "Love Come To Life"

A good friend of mine danced to this while her husband sang recently. This song is my prayer lately, in the war between the pull of the world and the gentle drawing of God's Spirit in me.

Steven Curtis Chapman - Films and Music Inspired by THE STORY "This Is H...

I just saw this after someone tweeted it. I hadn't heard this song by Steven Curtis Chapman before. It's so beautiful, and helps me to focus again on the cross, and get ready to celebrate the resurrection.

Ryan Kelly ~ Were You There?

Ryan Kelly, of Celtic Thunder, shared this today on Twitter. I love hearing artists sing such heartfelt songs of love for the Savior. Especially good to hear Ryan express his faith in Christ, since their shows are much more secular.

Casting Crowns - Jesus, Friend of Sinners

Here's the song by Casting Crowns that I mentioned in my last post. The song is reminding us that we can't be the light of the world by pointing at sinners in condemnation, as if we ourselves are not sinners too. However, what I 'heard' the other day on the radio was that the world can't see Christ in us, the church, because we are too busy pointing our fingers at each other in condemnation, when we should be showing the world how much we love each other. Condemning the world and condemning other believers are both stumbling blocks to sinners; keeping them from seeing the light of the gospel.
As I said in the first post, there is a place and time for defending the truth against falsehood. It should be done. But taking it upon myself to do this as a constant thing, mainly against one group of Christians, is not what I am called to do. My curious and often obsessive personality can draw me into things that are not my business if I don't pay attention to what I should be doing. I should be seeking Christ first and taking care of my family; and loving the believers around me as well as sharing the gospel with unbelievers I meet. I can't do any of these things by delving into 'Catholic vs. Protestant' theology.
It has been quite a while since I have had the heart to post anything about Catholicism and debate about it. My own struggles have deflated both my pride and my curiosity in that area: two of my major faults. I don't know if I'll ever want to go there again. I'm still very interested in the church and how it should and shouldn't work, but from a more personal perspective lately. I'm not 'sure' of so much as I was before. I don't know if I was right or wrong in all my facts, but I know I was often wrong in my prideful attitude.
I am truly sorry for the things I have posted in an attitude of pride, thinking that I know something when I really don't: We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. 2 And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. 3 But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him(1 Corinthians 8:1b-3). To those I have offended, please forgive me.

My first solo

Here I am singing my first solo for our Koinonia Dinner Theater fundraiser. This is our homeschool co-op; we're raising money to help buy the property which we've been leasing for the last two years.

Mannheim Steamroller - Good King Wenceslas (1984)

Happy St. Stephen's Day! It's good to remember things past because it helps us to put our own lives in perspective. Today is the feast of St. Stephen, the first martyr, whom we read about in Acts chapter 6 and 7. I also like the story of Good King Wenceslas, just because I like old stories about admirable characters.

Phil Wickham - Evermore

This is such a beautiful song of worship by Phil Wickham, on his new Christmas cd. Ooh, neat. On youtube one of the commenters told us this song was originally written by Aurelius Prudentius in the 5th century. I looked it up, and the lyrics are changed slightly, but it's recognizable as the same hymn. I love it!

180 Movie Changes Opinions From Pro-Abortion to Pro-Life

Here's a documentary by Ray Comfort designed to get people to think about the sanctity of human life, what they really believe about it, and especially what God says about it.

I Will Lift My Eyes - Bebo Norman

Tenth Avenue North: Love is Here

O THE DEEP, DEEP LOVE OF JESUS - Selah

Thank You Lord, for Your great love, that doesn't let go of me even when I go astray. Thank you for your gentle voice and hand that leads me back to your side. I love You.

Shane & Shane - When I Think About The Lord

Sanctus Real - Forgiven

Here's a good song for when you're feeling like a mess. Here's my status from facebook this evening: "My Christmas tree is still up, I have hairballs on my carpet, and I'm grumpy; but my two youngest girls are going to bed happy, Natalie gave me a big smile, and Sophia said 'I love you Mama!' and gave me a hug." I could add alot more to that, and maybe I will later on, but for now I hope the song is uplifting.

Casting Crowns God is With Us

Here's another great song by Casting Crowns. They have a great gift of sharing the old, old story in a way that makes it newly meaningful.

Casting Crowns - I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day Live

I love this version of 'I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day' by Casting Crowns!

Celtic Woman - Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring (live)

Here is some more lovely Christmas music to enjoy!